Stalk
by larin20
Summary: He invades me. He tricks me. He never lets me go. It's a problem I can't overcome no matter how hard I try. He told me once I was good and I believed him. But he makes me want to be bad. Once I saw him, there was no turning back. He's a sickness with no cure. I hate him. A/H
1. Hit

Hit

There wasn't any rhyme or reason why it hit me in that particular moment.

It was business as usual: wake up alone, shower alone, shave alone, primp alone, dress alone, eat alone, feed the most depressed fish in the world alone, walk to work carrying my coffee… alone. Nothing special about my life whatsoever. I was how it was supposed to be.

It was just a plain, old simple fall day. The journey to work was short since I worked only four blocks away. The views never changed. The people were on their same routine as I was. Busy with their things and their problems. Everything was normal and as it should be. I loved this part of the day. The solitude of the walk. The air in my lungs. The beauty of the changing colors of the season.

Until it hit me.

And not in a way I was entirely welcomed or opened to. In fact, it fucking ruined me.

I was halfway to work when I happened to glance over. The black door opened and the knocker rapt on its brass plate with the force of his strength as he shut the door. He had just come outside from a two-story walkup. It had been for sale for many months after the old man who lived there had died. I toyed with the idea of putting in an offer, but the place was too big for one person and my stupid fish.

But that man.

My brain skipped and I tripped over my feet as I choked on my breath and gagged on air that I had stupidly held in. A truck skidding on ice and blowing into a guardrail and I was sitting on the guardrail was best to describe how the wind had been knocked out of me.

He was neat, but messy. His clothes straight and tucked but his hair was chaotic like a storm gust had just tousled his unruly brownish hair. He hopped down his front steps with a dancer's prance and all the light in the world on his shoulders. The wicked grin, which seemed hidden under his closely trimmed beard, screamed of mischief and mirth. His hands… were huge and manly. They would hold anything down with force, if need be.

And I was entranced.

The few seconds I had watched him was a lifetime of what I had been missing for so long and forever. I slowly stepped out from behind the slim light post I had poorly been hiding behind and followed him. I kept my steps silent; it was difficult with my chunky Docs, but I pretended they were ballet slippers and I walked on marshmallows.

His steps never faltered, his stride brisk and upbeat. This was who he was; I could already feel it and I already craved it.

Slinking my way behind him, far enough back to feel benign, I watched. He waved and greeted people he shouldn't have known yet. It didn't bother him.

I never said hello or chinned an acknowledgment or indicated any form of morning kinship to anyone on my walk. Head down, coffee in hand, all the way to work. That's who I was.

"Hey, neighbor!" The corner deli owner said with a confident and steady nod to the man like he was his best friend. _Mr. Hair_ skated over and shook the food pusher's hand, all natural and brave. They both put their hands on their hips and inspected the day for a moment amongst their chitchat. I inspected the fruit at the grocer's sidewalk stand and side-eyed them. I should have worn black if I would have known I'd be sleuthing.

With a nudge to his pseudo friend's arm, the man walked away. I dropped my apple and continued after him.

He turned left up ahead and I stopped as he skipped threw the glass doors of The Riverplace Times. My place of employment, my safe place before I went home again to my real safe place. This was mine. My work. Mine, mine, mine.

I stowed the gruff of annoyance that this enigmatic man not only threw off my equilibrium but now he's bound to throw my innocuous cubical haven. Work wasn't a big place, and I was so sure he would be creeping over my edges and invading my trains of thought. But I would survive this like I did with everything else. It's what I did. Squaring myself and switching on autopilot, I braved the lobby. He had vanished to the upper levels and I relaxed. I pushed the elevator button.

There was only so much time in my day that I could devote to this distraction. I already knew it spelled trouble. Tanya wouldn't tolerate insubordinate behavior if I let it get out of control. I chewed my lip, going over how to handle this one. It had been so long, I was rusty.

I hadn't noticed the group of coworkers gathered behind me, waiting for their ride. Inching closer to the gold elevator doors, I peeked at the familiar but strange faces of people I knew but didn't through the reflection on the shiny metal. Names I knew, them, not so much. I could practically kiss the doors and urged the car to arrive with my mental superpowers before I panicked. The old thing took forever on busy Monday mornings.

The stairs sounded clearer than waiting on the lift full of anxiety. I bolted with quiet excuses and pardons.

The seventh floor wasn't that high up. I would skip the stair climber at the gym that night.

Rounding the railing to the sixth, huffing and puffing, I pulled out my keys. They kept the floors locked for security. Four more steps, three more, two, one…

I looked up.

Because the cosmos hated me, and because it wouldn't be enough that I'd leave it alone, I made eye contact with the seventh heaven waiting for me.

He pushed off the wall next to the seventh floor sign and rubbed the back of neck like he wasn't ashamed using his crystal blue eyes to get what he wanted.

"I came all the way up here and forgot my pass key." He grinned. Damn it. Fuck this shit. He killed me dead and ruined all of it for me. He tilted his head. "Let me in?"

It wasn't enough that he worked at the same place, but he had to speak to me and asked me, of all the things, to let him in. To do the impossible. Didn't he know how dangerous that was? Sighing, I brushed past him, careful not to touch and unlocked the door. I held the door open without looking at him. I didn't wait for him before I started through the narrow doorway. He smelled like what a man should smell like. Strength and determination with a mixture of soap and idiotic hope.

"Thanks, umm… ahh… Sorry, I'm new. I'm Edward Masen—sales. "

I kept walking. This wasn't good.

"Ma'am? Wait."

Ma'am? Ouch. At thirty, I wasn't a ma'am. Keep going. Don't stop, Bella. You know what will happen if you do.

"Well"—I heard him stop behind me at the Sales department hallway—"thanks for opening the door. See you later."

Not if I can help it.

**no betas, no editing, just writing to get back into the game. **

Next: Break


	2. Break

2\. Break

It's been two weeks. Two very long, annoying weeks.

Everything was routine except instead of just walking to work, I watched Edward. He still danced down the steps from his door in the mornings, he still stopped to talk to man at the deli about the weather, and the air was always under his feet as he skipped up the stairs to the seventh floor, remembering his key every trip. I took caution to follow far enough behind so he wouldn't suspect I tailed everyday.

It was chocolate and sunshine and puffy cotton candy clouds daily as I watched him from behind my sunglasses or parked cars. If I was a betting woman, which I wasn't because gambling was wrong, I would say he was the happiest man in the city. Nothing fazed him. People loved him. The talk of the office was all about the astounding and humbling Edward Masen.

Long live the king.

I grew drunk watching him. The way he interacted with people. Their faces when he made them laugh. He was in sales, so he had to be a people pleaser. But still. There was more. Much more that charmed men and woman alike.

It infuriated me because it was like he did it on purpose, being a man like no other.

At 9:05, Edward went to the break room for a fresh cup of coffee. Along the way he high-fived the men in marketing and touched elbows in greeting to the sluts in accounting. So easy and so magnetizing. They all ate him up.

And I watched it all.

I haven't determined if his taste was deplorable or he really needed the caffeine boost for the reason he drank the office coffee. I've never touched the stuff. Coffee was safest from home. From my own clean pot. I had to hand it to him; he'd dumped the old swill and brewed a fresh batch no matter how much was left before he got to it. He always waited the five to seven minutes it took to fill half the pot before he couldn't wait anymore and filled his mug. Not a tumbler or a to-go cup from home, but a ceramic mug that said _World's Best Son_.

I haven't determined if he was for real or not.

Edward sat down at and scrolled through his phone, blowing into his mug. I hugged the wall tighter and peered around the doorway with one eye, imagining he was blowing parts of me.

I white-knuckled the manila envelope I held as he licked his lips. His tongue, ugh, his tongue.

"Hey, Bella!" Jumping, I spun around and clutched my heart, dropping the manila to the ground. My back hit the doorjamb and I winced in pain. I quickened a glance over my shoulder at Edward. Damn. He looked up. "I was just looking for you. Why aren't you at your desk, you're always at your desk. Like you never leave it." He laughed.

Correction: Mike always came to my desk—uninvited—and I happened to be there because, well, I worked there.

"Mike, hi," I said too quickly. "I… ahh… I was going to the… the…"—I looked around, grasping for anything to explain why I was dumbly poking around the break room—"bathroom?"

Why? Why? Why?

Mike rocked on the heels, not a care in the world weighing him down. "Cool, cool."

I nodded and said, "Yep, have to pee." Thinning my lips, I wished I hadn't spoken at all. Mike was used to little from me, like everyone else. I heard Edward move behind me.

Mike elbowed me in jest. "That's what bathrooms are for."

Faking a laugh like a pro, I said, "Actually, I was on my way to get coffee… before the bathroom. That's why I was here. Standing… by the break room. Alone."

"You were going to bring your coffee to the bathroom?"

Shaking my head, I tried again. "Of course not, that's gross—"

I sounded mental.

"I wish you would let me bring you coffee when I hit up the corner shop on my break. I've offered how many times now?" One thing I could say about Mike was that he was persistent. I haven't figured him out yet, but I wasn't ready for more pleasantries other than office acquaintances or all the other things he wanted to _offer_ me.

"I'm very particular when it comes to my coffee. But it's a kind offer." I paused. "You're nice."

You're nice? I needed to work on my compliments. Noted.

"I was about to bring in my Kuerig, but it broke in the move, and I haven't had time to get a replacement." Edward came up beside me and took a sip from his mug. He made a face and peered into the depths of his cup. "This is crap."

We had something in common. Coffee coinsures.

His rolled Oxford sleeve brushed my naked arm when he moved. He was so close. My whole body shivered. "I'm with Bella"—He knew my name. All this time I had been following him, watching him, never talking to him and he knew my name.—"very particular about my coffee." He raised his eyebrows to me. And I stared at him.

And stared some more. He smiled. He wasn't thrown by my inertness as he waited for me to say… anything at all.

"Our Bella is a quiet one." Mike slung his arm around my shoulders and shook the life out of me. "It took me a long time to get her to say two words. But when I did"—he grabbed his chest—"total goner." Mike let go of me, snapped his fingers and shot me some air guns. "See you tonight?"

My inability to function rebounded and I blinked. Mike couldn't keep showing up like he did. I guessed he meant well, but it had to stop. This office acquaintances thing was bridging out to outer office acquaintances. "What? No."

He walked away faster than I could protest. "Later, Bells."

I scowled hard—really hard—at Mike's retreat that I had almost forgotten Edward and his sexy rolled up sleeve.

"What's tonight?"

A lump caught in my throat as I looked at Edward. He was truly otherworldly in looks. Through his beard, there was a faint hint of a chin cleft and his jaw tensed as he watched me and he held me down with his hypnotic gaze. I inched away, heading toward the direction of the Editorial department and to my cube.

"It's… ahh… nothing, really." I tossed the nonchalance over my shoulder. "We go to the same gym. We workout together—and stuff." It was more like he followed me to the gym, ran on the treadmill next to my Stairmaster, and then walked me home every night. Mike explained that it wasn't safe for a woman in the city. I should know what was safe or not. The gym was two blocks away from home in the opposite direction of work. It was why I chose where I lived. All amenities within a walkable circle of the apartment. The closer, the safer. But Mike insisted. I kept our time together as brief as possible. Quick thank-yous and goodnights. Mike, though, he was intense. In all things.

One time of walking me home and it turned into a habit. He felt more of troublesome stray, begging for scraps, than a concerned coworker.

A sternness crossed Edward's face, but rather then get into more conversation, which would surely be detrimental, I turned away. I couldn't start anything with him. It couldn't happen. I had come so far and built so much up that even talking to him could tear all my hard work apart.

" _Stuff?_ " He lowered his voice, but he was still in earshot. "The company frowns down upon interoffice dating."

I stopped my hasty exit. He didn't insinuate I was dating Mike, did he? And was that anger? Because how ludicrous was that? Mike was Mike. Everyone knew it. I guessed no one warned him of _that girl from editing_. I waited for him to say more, but when I turned around Edward was halfway across the floor, headed toward Sales.

Next: Wait


	3. Wait

3\. Wait

"Edward isn't Jacob." It was a mantra I've been repeating over and over in my head since I first laid eyes on the disgustingly gorgeous and profoundly unassuming man. I gnashed my teeth together. I hated this was happening again. I worked hard to distance myself from who everyone in order to protect myself. Psycho. Obsessed. I heard it all.

That wasn't who I was any more. I wasn't _that_ woman. But how I could lie and believe my fascination would only be fleeting for him. I had let myself be weak, but I blamed Edward. He was too bright and wide open to ignore. And an utter enigma waiting for me to crack.

Jealously and envy had taken root in the weeks since Edward came into my life. I wanted what he was. To be free and be able to be normal. I wanted him and couldn't stand all at once. And since the day when he accused me on dating Mike, of all people, he took great pains in avoiding me. Not that I should talk. I, too, avoided him outwardly.

But let's be honest, I was everywhere he was even if he knew it or not.

He was the siren's song to my ears.

Ugh.

Sprinkling food flakes over the open aquarium, I fed my depressed beta fish. The food floated around the top of the water, and I watched as my fish snagged bits here and there with the least amount of enthusiasm a fish like him could have. He was a beta, after all. The Fish, as I called him, was my first pet ever. I had gotten for the simple fact that I could. There was no one telling I couldn't have him. Unfortunately, there was no connection to him; he was just a fish. I chose him because he was easy and would leave the least amount of mess.

Needless to say, he hasn't been much for conversation.

"I tried not thinking about him, but it's so hard not too. And if he didn't live down the street, I wouldn't have to follow him every morning." I sighed because I was truly pathetic trying to make this fixation Edward's burden. "And if he didn't work with me, I wouldn't have to pass his cube on my way to Tanya's office." I bent down and tapped on the glass of the aquarium. "It really is his fault."

I had crossed the tracks to Crazytown. Again

Fuck.

"Edward is not Jacob."

With my new founded mantra fixed on my brain, I vowed I would spend my Saturday Edward free. No watching, no following, no wondering what he's doing or who's he doing it with.

Unfortunately, trying not to think about him made me think about him.

Happy-go-lucky him. Blithe in all things he came across called to me just like Jacob had. I relished in watching him. Waiting for me to appear from his door every morning. The 9:05 coffee—replaced by his Keurig—was the balm to my sleeping ache that lay dormant since Jacob left. I hovered on his fringes, like a shadow.

It was hard. I had started to feel eyes on me and the whispers had begun around the office.

Yesterday, I had been making copies when I overheard Eric from Accounts Payable talking about me to someone by the supply closet. Of course I had to eavesdrop. I set the copier for two hundred copies to cover my noises and listened closer to their conversation from around the corner.

Because why wouldn't I?

"Dude, you have to be careful of Bella, man. She's a freak," Eric said.

I heard a thump.

"Ow! The fuck?"

"Man, she's not a freak." Mike, of course, Mike. "She's all right."

"Because you like them freaky. You, weird bastard." Eric laughed and I rolled my eyes. "How's your _dates_?"

"Shut up."

A voice cleared. "Why do you think she's such a freak? She seems harmless to me."

I went stiff. Edward?

"Haven't you heard about Bella Swan? No one has told you yet."

No, no, no!

"I'm not one for office gossip. All I know is that she works in Editing and she lives down the street from me. She's ah… interesting."

He knew I lived by him? Oh my God. How would he possibly know where I lived? I thought I kept my distance, hid in the shadows. The fact that he knew my name was a surprise; the idea that he knew where I lived was insane. And what does he mean by interesting?

"Edward, man, you have to hear about what she did to Jacob Black?"

"Don't start shit up again, Eric," Mike said. "It wasn't that big of a deal."

"Are you kidding? Listen to this: They found the woman naked in his apartment. She had a giant tattoo of his face on her chest. Like smack dab between her tits. Full-on mural of that guy's ugly mug. Probably cost her thousands."

There wasn't a tattoo on my chest. I wouldn't mare my skin like that.

"She claimed they were in love and getting married. Jake had to quit and move away."

"Jacob Black was already moving. He got that job on the east coast, and I'm sure there was more to the story than that." Mike spoke down, "She doesn't have a tattoo on her chest, by the way."

Eric laughed. "And you would know." I heard jostling. "What is your deal with Bella? You have Jessica all over your dick and you keep hanging around that crazy ass bitch."

Sternness came over Mike's voice. "She's not crazy and don't ever call her a bitch again, all right. Someone has to stick up for her with all your assholes spreading rumors about a poor girl. She doesn't have any one else." He paused. "God, you're such a fucking dick, Eric." Mike huffed and I heard him walk off. I ducked around the corner so he wouldn't see me.

Heat bloomed in my chest. All this time I had thought Mike was irritating and only tagged along because he got some sort of sick pleasure out of crazy Bella. But I guessed the same could be said with me following Edward. Was Edward my sick pleasure or was I addicted to how I wanted to feel with the idea of him? If I had opened my eyes, I would have realized that Mike generally cared. I didn't know what to think about that. No one cared about me.

"Whatever. Everyone knows she's crazy," Eric yelled to Mike. He spoke quieter to Edward, "She doesn't talk, she pops up in the most unusual places and scares the shit out of you, she dresses weird, like she's stuck in 1996, fucking anal retentive, and can't look anyone in the eye. Ever. I heard her parents were these strict religious types and they kept her locked up. She was like this hermit with no contact to the outside world. When they died she moved to the city and started this thing with Jake. She followed him around like a puppy, got him lunch everyday, whatever he asked for—she did. I think he was hitting that on the down low, but he never admitted it. "

No one knew the real story of Jacob. One incident got twisted and ruined everything. When the rumors had gotten too much, I took a sabbatical when Jacob moved away. I did what I did best: I hid. It was the only cooping mechanism I knew. I didn't want to face the rumors, or answer anyone's questions. It was too embarrassing.

It was rough learning Jacob was gone when I got back to work. I vowed after that I wouldn't let myself get so wrapped up in a man like Jacob again. I needed to do that for myself or I would never learn. But then Edward came along and blew that idea right out of the water.

So much like Jacob, but there was something more I couldn't put my finger on.

Edward stayed quiet during the discussion and it killed me. My insides churned. The copier finished making my copies. The lack of noise seemed to prompt Edward.

"Sounds like the copier is done. I'll catch you later, Eric."

That was it? Eric laid bare all of me and Edward didn't have anything to say in return?

I heard Edward head into the copier room, and I looked all around for a hiding place. The space was the size of a small closet. Nowhere to go. So I did the only thing I could think of: stared at my feet.

I felt him come into the room and stop. His breathing picked up and mine stopped. Taking my copies from the machine, I gathered them up in my shaking hands ready to flee to the sanctity of my cube. The room got smaller and smaller.

Out of my periphery, I saw Edward run his hands through his hair.

"You heard all of that, didn't you?"

Shocked he would come right out with it, I only nodded.

Edward sighed and opened up the top of the copier. "Mike is really fond of you." He put his paper on the glass. "You been together long?"

My head shot up. A fire burned in Edward's eyes, but he darted his gaze away to his task at hand. He poked the keypad and the copier came to life.

"You don't have to answer that. It's none of my business."

He kept assuming so much about Mike. He was no better than all the other office gossips. It struck a nerve. I held my own as I stepped to him. "Did you just say you're not one for office gossip?"

He glared at me. "It's not gossip, it's an observation. Are you with him?"

I looked away. "What do you mean?"

"You can't even answer the question." I peeked up. Edward shook his head and debated for a minute. "It's nothing. I didn't say anything. I'm sorry you had to hear all that stuff Eric said."

"It's nothing new to me. You think I don't know what people say behind my back?"

He turned to me and squared his shoulders. He looked impressive as he towered over me. Almost too dark, too massive. The uplifting cadence he bestowed on everyone in the world besides me, gone. He eyed speculatively. "I think you know exactly what people say behind your back and you like it." He bit his lip.

The air between us thinned and I grew woozy under his scrutiny. "What?" I backed up.

He followed, inch by inch. "I see you." He looked me over. "All over—I see you."

Shaking my head, I hit the wall behind me. Edward reached around me and closed the door to the copier room. My heart thumped a mile a minute and I grasped for my bearings. He saw me? What did he see? Did he know all this time I had been following him, looking in his windows from the street as I passed, siting in the back of restaurants while he ate, shopping in the next aisle as he pondered which cereal to buy? I had thought I was so hidden. He saw it all? "I don't understand."

Edward boxed me in with his arms against the wall. Leaping out of my skin, I shivered. He was so close. My body burned that Jacob never scorched.

He whispered close to my ear, his hair tickling my nose, sending me into the outer rims of desire I hadn't had in forever. "We all have our secrets." He brushed his lips against my cheek, his mouth dangerously close to mine. I needed to touch him, to know what it was like to be him. My hands itched to move, but were paralyzed with fear. The smirk he shared told me he knew what he was doing. This was calculated. He checked out every freckle and pore on my face. I was naked. He released the wall and opened up the door. "I can wait you out if you want, but I don't think you will last."

He left without another word.

I clung to the copies, wrinkling the papers. My body a puddle on the floor.

Edward had left the office soon after that and I hadn't seen him since. He wasn't at home or his usual haunts around the block all evening. And today, I purposely stayed home to avoid even looking for him. Because the light and hope I sensed in Edward was laced with a complex need and manipulation. I saw in the way he bit his lip and the way he backed me up and caressed me with his nuance.

 _We all have our secrets_ , he said. He was going to wait me out?

His words were a double-edged sword and like a maze.

As much as I wanted to avoid wanting him, he just cranked it up to level ten. He wasn't like Jacob. My mantra still stood firm. No. He was more than Jacob. And it scared the shit out of me.

Next: Shove


	4. Shove

4\. Shove

"What's been going on with you lately, Bella?"

Tanya sat back in her office chair and folded her hands over her lap. The ease of her contentment was off-putting. Normally, a superior would chastise and belittle an employee for poor work quality, but Tanya's staunch concern was unexpected given how she usually handled things with staff. She had an iron fist on good days. I had made it a point not to get into her crosshairs but over the last couple of days, I had let my work performance slip. Another thing to blame on Edward. Ever since he had cornered me in the copier room I've been a combustion of oversexed thoughts and paranoia. Edward had left me panting and didn't return until Monday morning. It was like Friday never happened in normal aspects. He still went for his walk in the morning, got his coffee at the same time. He talked to our coworkers like it was any old Monday at the office. But when he would catch my eye, it was all dark looks and sly glances. What I thought I had learned about him up to that point was moot. He wasn't just the sunshine and breeze of the day; he was the shadows and stealth of the night. A total contradiction.

"What do you mean?"

Tanya shared a warm unnatural smile as she leaned forward in her seat. I wiggled in mine; preparing myself for the load of bullshit about how well she understood me when she really didn't.

"I know your history with Jacob Black, and since then I have put special attention to watching you." She tipped her head like she was going to tell me something I didn't know. "Making sure your behavior… stays even."

I nodded. Even? Is that what people called it? How about stark raving lunatic? I, of all people, wanted to stay _even_ , as she put it. Of course, she would be well versed in my history with Jacob. She was editor-n-chief. It had been stupid of me to think otherwise. I thought I hadn't been obvious, but it's clear Tanya had suspected I was out of sorts lately. I _knew_ I was. Missing deadlines, typos I had let go when they were clear as day, forgetting to make sure the copy got to the production on time. Since sunny Edward had taken a backseat to the midnight version, I felt all discombobulated. Plus, he had yet to speak to me.

But he watched me now. Every step I took, his eyes were on me. The tables had turned and I wasn't too comfortable letting Edward examine my every move. _Letting him_ , being the easiest way to explain what I was doing. I let him watch, let him spy; let him take me down to my very marrow. I could see he enjoyed it just like I enjoyed being on the other side for once. There was no explanation for the turn of events other than I had lost my upper hand and he had gained control of my desire.

It was getting to be too much. But it sent a thrill down to my core that Jacob never brought out.

"I would never let anything happen again. My private life will never affect my work life. " It was a solid promise and a fact. Jacob Black was behind me and he had made it final the last day I had seen him. He shooed me away like a nuisance. Edward was different. Well, I thought he would have been different before he locked me in with him strong eyes and husky whispers. My stomach fell out when he said he had seen me, when he said we all have secrets. I have been a pile of nerves ever since.

Tanya settled a look on me. "I noticed you have a distant interest in Edward Masen. I wondered if history is repeating. Especially after I got a call from Production…"

I shook my head, adamant. "No, Tanya. I'm remaining professional. You can trust me. It's not what you think."

"I know I can, Bella. You're one of our best copy editors. I would hate to lose you for such… unusual indiscretions. But I do have limits. Jacob Black was one strike. I don't tend to hand out any more passes. If you let yourself go again, I would have to resort to termination. One scandal is enough."

I bowed my head. "I understand." This whole meeting felt like a child being scolded for taking a piece of candy without asking.

With a keen smirk, Tanya dismissed me and I headed back to my cube, piss mad the whole way. No one knew the real story about Jacob Black. All they knew was what he told to cover his own ass. To make himself look like the martyr. I was forever branded after him. I had sworn to myself that I would never let myself be victim to my obsessions again. With Edward, I had kept it quiet. Or so I thought. The past week had been madness and it was all his fault. Only if he didn't change into this… monster. Only if he would have stayed good, I wouldn't be so aware of him. He was affecting my work and I had to put my foot down. From here on out, he was invisible. The side-glances, the lip bites, the devious presence… Done.

I flopped down on my office chair. My mantra of "Jacob is not Edward" should be, "Stay away from Edward" because I could lose my job if I let things get out of control again. I knew of all people how screwed up I was. It was a given. My past dictated it. This job, though, was a lifeline I hadn't dreamed I get after my parents died. I wasn't sure where to go from here if all of it fell apart. I didn't know any better. Not that I didn't try to know better with Jacob. But it was too dangerous to let it all go again. Edward from far away was one thing, Edward up close and all-knowing he was up close was another. My well-oiled machine didn't deserve Edward's wrench in my spokes. Not after Jacob had run it ragged, and I had finally repaired the broken bits. Tanya noticing a change in me was only the first warning bell. If anything with Edward escalated, I would be in some serious shit.

I banged on my keyboard for a couple more hours before calling it quits for the day. Edward had remained scarce around the floor, which I was so grateful for. I actually got some work done, and Tanya had complimented me on my fast turnaround of an edit for Wednesday's issue on her way out the door. I had been so caught up in work that I didn't have time to think of Edward once and patted myself on the back for ridding him for a couple of minutes. It was a baby step.

The line at the pizzeria was long, but Mondays were takeout day so I waited. When I finally got to order, I opened my mouth to speak when I was interrupted.

"A large Italian sausage and mushroom with extra cheese, please."

Like out of a horror movie, I turned slowly around, dreading what lay behind me. Edward stood, winked, and shoved money around me to the cashier.

I batted his hand away and gritted through me teeth. "What are you doing? No!"

"Ordering pizza for us. What are you doing?" The smirk he gave me made chills run up my spine.

"Rejecting that thoughtless idea," I said a little too bluntly. Surprising him and me both. I thought better of if once it was said when a smidgen of pain crossed his face. What in the hell had come over me? Any interaction with him I had been bold and unrestrained. I was starting to not recognize myself anymore. It confused me. "Sorry," I said in a tiny way.

"But it's your favorite," he said as a matter of fact and not ashamed.

How did he know Italian sausage and mushroom with extra cheese was my favorite? I froze when the meaning became clear. Where we more alike than I thought? The revelation threw me for a loop and I stepped aside as he paid for our food. Edward guided me to some chairs to wait for the pizza to cook.

We stayed quiet as I let whatever it was happening between us to stew. He threw an arm behind and I let myself lean into his body. It was warm and unassuming. Natural. Weird. The process of understanding what Edward had so knowingly shoved in my face felt akin to a dawning light bulb above my head.

The only question I had was, "How long?"

"It took you awhile to figure it out."

Next: Breath

Thank you for all the nice words you've been sending me. This is really just a writing exercise for me. Like first draft stuff to get me out of my box and writing again. I don't have a beta, I'm only self-editing—which you know if you self-edit you can never find all your mistakes—and I'm just throwing this up here. It's not superstar writing or anything, just playing around. Hell, it may not make sense all the time either. LOL! It's my goal to finish a writing project and not give up midway through. So, if I can conquer that, I'm calling this a win. Is this story for everyone? Nope. Will it make the sense all the time? Nope. Will it be interesting? I hope so. Will it have a happy every after? Of course. It's just not typical and not canon at all. But, hey, I love those types of stories.


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